Monday, March 31, 2008

This is for the men in our lives...

How many men in our lives have learned ways to protect themselves from emotions..if they have emotions they could be labeled "unmanly", right? They have perfected these ways..workaholism, alcoholism, money, power, a grant position at work or the community, TV, TV, and TV..that is my husband..or just ways that they deal with real issues of life, in ways we don't understand.

God has designed us with an inner need to move past the surface relationships. I have been knocking on my husband's heart lately saying, "Will you please come out? I need to know you on a much deeper level, and I need to know that you know me?! I need to know that you care for me on a deeper level. What is in your heart?" I don't know about your husband or loved one but I believe it is God's purpose for a woman, me and you, to bring that man out from his inner place of aloneness. That is where he hides from himself and others, and especially from God, Prov. 27:19

Aren't we continually confronted with what is in our hearts. Our heart is the deepest, most inner recess of our being, the place where all masks and pretensions are removed, this is the place where a real person dwells.

The Lord can give a woman insight and understanding. If she abides in the Holy Spirit, she can begin to trust that what is going in inside from the Lord! We need to exhibit a "gentle and quiet spirit" 1 peter 3:4. Believe me I have to watch myself on this one too. I have shared so much of my heart to all of you and I share insights with my husband. He on the other hand, does not share with me. That is why Peter wrote "not to be merely adorned on the outside, wearing gold or arranging your hair" How many times do we think that men will pay more attention to us if we do that?

We also have to watch ourselves too. If our husbands resist our efforts to share, we could become intimidated and retaliate. Then what happens..those words that were meant to bring forth life and restoration, can become deadly weapons. Then it further damages our already wounded heart. We have to have courage, using words responsibly, speaking with respect, even when we disagree. I did that with my boss, when he attacked me I didn't come back at him. We have to do the same with our husbands. In anger, we are not to sin, Eph 4:26. Speak the truth in love and bind mercy and truth around your neck so that we will "find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man" Prov 3:3,4.

We are even ambassadors of Christ in our marriage. Submission, although men don't realize it, is initially for man's sake, to help him. Submission is knowing our purpose from God's viewpoint and then bringing our whole self to our husband for his good. A husband who has learned to trust his wife will gain courage to open up about the wounds and failures of the past. A man no longer needing to hide, is a man free to reach beyond himself to others.

Praise God..and women try to love them even when it's hard :)

God Bless


Plant Lady said...

Just a quick note to say Hi! I've been out all day and I'm tired, but I just wanted you to know that I'm with you.

Plant Lady

A God Chaser said...

Continue to pour your heart outto your husband. God will soften HIs to pour his out to you. Keep the Faith

Anonymous said...

Hi Donna,
Great post! I have a very laid back husband and I am a take charge kinda girl. I tell him that his feelings and opinions are "numb"!! It drives me crazy sometimes. I have through prayer been trying to step back from taking charge and allowing him to take charge and be the head of the household as God designed. It is not easy--patience is not my strong suit!! And he moves at a much slower pace than I do!! But I really see God growing him when I step back. When he feels like he is head of the house is when I get more out of him emotionally too--it goes hand in hand. God's design for marriage is truly PERFECT!!!
Kim from PA
**you inspired me to change my post name (plain old Kim was boring!)

fivedesigns said...


I Love your name!! Thank you so much for that word..You hit the nail on the head..Gods design for marriage is truly PERFECT!! I feel we don't talk a lot about our husbands and a lot of woman don't know what it's really like to submit. God was showing me what to write.

Also "a god chaser" thank you too for writing.I was really writing for everyone, it really wasn't about my husband..yes he watches TV too much and is on the computer..but the reason for the post was for everyone married. Believe me I always pour my heart onto my husband..he is completely in the Lords hands. Please feel free to read all my blog posts and you will understand what I do and why.
God Bless you all

Plant Lady hope to talk longer to you next time!