How many men in our lives have learned ways to protect themselves from emotions..if they have emotions they could be labeled "unmanly", right? They have perfected these ways..workaholism, alcoholism, money, power, a grant position at work or the community, TV, TV, and TV..that is my husband..or just ways that they deal with real issues of life, in ways we don't understand.
God has designed us with an inner need to move past the surface relationships. I have been knocking on my husband's heart lately saying, "Will you please come out? I need to know you on a much deeper level, and I need to know that you know me?! I need to know that you care for me on a deeper level. What is in your heart?" I don't know about your husband or loved one but I believe it is God's purpose for a woman, me and you, to bring that man out from his inner place of aloneness. That is where he hides from himself and others, and especially from God, Prov. 27:19
Aren't we continually confronted with what is in our hearts. Our heart is the deepest, most inner recess of our being, the place where all masks and pretensions are removed, this is the place where a real person dwells.
The Lord can give a woman insight and understanding. If she abides in the Holy Spirit, she can begin to trust that what is going in inside her..is from the Lord! We need to exhibit a "gentle and quiet spirit" 1 peter 3:4. Believe me I have to watch myself on this one too. I have shared so much of my heart to all of you and I share insights with my husband. He on the other hand, does not share with me. That is why Peter wrote "not to be merely adorned on the outside, wearing gold or arranging your hair" How many times do we think that men will pay more attention to us if we do that?
We also have to watch ourselves too. If our husbands resist our efforts to share, we could become intimidated and retaliate. Then what happens..those words that were meant to bring forth life and restoration, can become deadly weapons. Then it further damages our already wounded heart. We have to have courage, using words responsibly, speaking with respect, even when we disagree. I did that with my boss, when he attacked me I didn't come back at him. We have to do the same with our husbands. In anger, we are not to sin, Eph 4:26. Speak the truth in love and bind mercy and truth around your neck so that we will "find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man" Prov 3:3,4.
We are even ambassadors of Christ in our marriage. Submission, although men don't realize it, is initially for man's sake, to help him. Submission is knowing our purpose from God's viewpoint and then bringing our whole self to our husband for his good. A husband who has learned to trust his wife will gain courage to open up about the wounds and failures of the past. A man no longer needing to hide, is a man free to reach beyond himself to others.
Praise God..and women try to love them even when it's hard :)