Monday, June 2, 2008

The Lord is good!!

Hey Ladies...

Yes I am alive!! My computer crashed last week and I cannot post from my phone...I can tell you that I see God's hand in my life a lot lately and I see the "other side" working too but I am sick and tired of giving that one any credit so lets move on...:)

I was reading Psalm 51 today.."Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me..cast me not away from your prescence..restore unto me the joy and salvation and renew a right spirit within me" The Lord gave me that today and you know why..because I have not forgiven myself for something that happened a long time ago.

On July 12, 1980 I was 8 weeks pregnant and 19 years old, 20 on July 13th. I went into an abortion clinic on that day and had an abortion. It was always easy for me to say to someone and always say that I was forgiven, which I know I was..but I never forgave myself.

Through out the years I had panic attacks, depression and I made a lot of bad choices. No one stopped me nor did they ever counsel me on the hurt that could happen to someone making that choice years later. In the 80's it was the thing to do if you got pregnant..have an abortion. Well the Lord placed on my heart today that I need to forgive myself and stop blaming myself for something that He took care of years ago.

My baby is a spirit in heaven and I know one day I will feel "his" spirit when we all are there..I believe it with all my heart! I believe he led me to that scripture because I have to have a clean heart before Him no matter what. David wrote this after he committed a crime against Bethseba's husband..how could he live with himself? Well he did but after a lot of fighting against himself also.

I've been to counselors and I never had them say, "Ya know it could have something to do with that abortion" But I also didn't go to a christian counselor either...I am now and something just came upon me to reveal this to you and everyone who reads it. God is good and loves us so much..we are forgiven but we need to come before Him with a clean heart and a renewed spirit before we can forgive ourselves...

I love you all..I am leaving for FL on Wednesday..pray that I will reach these HS girls and that God will use me, as He is now...God Bless all of you!

Love Donna

5 comments:

From the Heart said...

Donna, I was beginning to worry about you, but now I know why we have not heard from you. You have done a marvelous thing and God will bless you until your cup will run over. I will be praying for you while your in Florida.
AliceE.

GOD'S LADIE said...

Awesome! I love Psalm 51! I quote it all the time. I have also had to deal with forgiving myself. I too have attended christian counseling which helped me with the sexual abuse. It along with the holy spirit led me to a new place. I "know" that GOD will use you mightily while you are in my home state ministering to those girls and I know a word will be planted in their heart. I pray GOD's traveling mercies and spirit be upon you.

LaTonya/FLORIDA

nothingcanseparateme said...

God's grace---an awesome thing!!!

Donna, Thank you for sharing about your abortion many years ago. Keep telling your story--especially to those High School girls. They need to see how REAL our God's grace and love is!!! Have a wonderful trip.

Kim from PA

JnL4God said...

Donna,
You are forgiven! Just wanted you to see it in print. This is an area that I have had to battle too. I haven't had an abortion but I have my own sins to deal with, we all do actually. If you don't know who Joyce Meyers is hook up with her. WWW.Joycemeyers.org. She is so awesome at dealing with the mind and is most famous for her book "Battlefield of the Mind".

God washed you as white as snow. I heard a story of a woman in prison that had murdered someone. She got born again in prison and when she finally got out she found a good christain guy and when she got married she wore white because God had washed her clean and created her new. I love that story.

E-mail if you want/need.
Lynn

SKY4KAT said...

Donna,
I have been praying for you and wondering how you are doing.
Forgiving ourself is the hardest person to forgive of all I think.
I can so relate, having an abortion at age 17. I was dating an air force academy cadet and was advised that it was the best thing to do since he still had 2 years of college to finish and the academy didn't allow the cadets to marry. I was also advised by well meaning people, my family, that it would be better not to tell anyone about this too. So it remained locked in my heart and not grieved, shared or thought about till I was in my 40's.
It was a process and took a long time to believe that God forgave me but even harder to forgive myself.
It is so encouraging to see God working in you and through you. You are dealing with hard things and staying in the pain.

What are you going to be doing in Fla?
I am leaving Wed for a raft trip for 5 days down the San Juan river in Utah.
Hope to hear from you and God bless you
Katrina