Yesterday I started going back to counseling and this time christian counseling. It is a 14 week course which starts from your beginning of life to now. My counselor wanted me to know that the Holy Spirit would be there weekly. That I can't change others and I can't change myself until I know where the patterns I can't control started. This was a first..I always went to counselors that only would deal with me and my past was not really investigated. I went into the room and started talking and started crying. I talked for 15 min about as much as I could..I told him that the enemy is attacking me so much I feel like giving up..I didn't mean suicide, it was more like, "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired". So why did I title this transformed by trouble? Because the Lord gives us issues in our lives so that we will be transformed. I know you know this but I need to write about it a lot because I need to remember that there is a purpose behind every problem.
I was reading my book today for Day 25 in "The purpose driven life" it is about how problems are given to us with the fill knowledge of the Lord..well we all know that, but it can be so hard to read it. Well wouldn't you know that my boss came in today and did his wonderful act of humiliating me in front of everyone and making me feel like my feelings and actions don't matter in life. I won't even get into it because that is what the enemy wants, "go on, talk about it..keep on running that tape in your mind over and over until you can't stop crying and thinking about it.." FORGET IT! I'M OVER IT!! What I don't have is an ability to let things go and give them over as fast as others can..and that is what I need to learn from the Lord and my weekly sessions.God has a purpose behind everything and we should expect 4 kinds of them in our life.:
- Trials are designed by God to draw us closer to Him and build our character.
- Temptations are designed by the devil to draw us away from God and destroy our character.
- Trespasses are hurts caused by the sins of others.
- Troubles are usually, but not always, the consequences of our own sinful choices.
I know that you hear me constantly speak of my job but when your husband is unable to work, it is a hard burden to bear. When my boss promised me a position of management and then said in front of my face, "I never said that", its hard to swallow. It's like, "Lord do you want me to quit? I don't know what to do? You gave me this position and it's been going down for such a long time..you don't like when people quit..what should I do" That is my prayer right now..the Lord has given me so many ways to pray when I'm there, the hours are good and I don't commute a lot..it all sounds so trivial but I believe the Lord gave me this job. I worked so hard for this man to get a better position and he has royally stabbed me in the back! See I'm talking about it!!
I have to remember these scriptures: 2 Corinthians 4:17 "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all"
Because God is sovereignly in control, accidents are just incidents in God's good plan for us. Romans 8:28 "We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his for purpose for them"
Romans 8:17 The message "We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with HIM!!"
I Love that scripture..I know all of this I really do!! Every time I have a devotion or a reading like this my day usually follows it exactly that way!! I guess I should be happy..God is telling Satan, "Shes my daughter, just don't harm her but she will prevail"!! I have to learn how to deal with these incidences with the right tools and when I do I will be even better in fighting that SOB!! Sorry :)
I Love you all and I will hear from you all later!!