Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I'm Back....

Hi Everyone!

Yes I'm back from Panama City..I came back on Sunday night and just now have had a chance to breath. I read all of your comments about my last posting and I am so glad all of you encouraged me. I AM FORGIVEN...PRAISE GOD!!!!

Well what can I say about Panama City..I was not welcomed by one girl, one girl in 9th grade that made me feel as if I was trying out for her and her only..I went into the trip with all the staff and leaders from my church (First Baptist of Atlanta) saying, "You have the drama girls..they all need attention" Well I am what you might call down to earth, firm yet loving and "get over it and grow up"! She was a handful and it all came to a head on Friday. I mean we left Wednesday and our full day was Thursday..we had our wonderful worship and great ministering from a guest preacher who told it like it was. He basically hit a nerve and I tried to help her express it. She didn't want to and went to the leaders or rather the staff and told them "Miss Donna is making me open up and WE don't like it"...Well the enemy certainly was stopping me from ministering to her wasn't he...NOT!!!

What he tried to make bad the Lord is always victorious..PRAISE HIM! Now she did get her way, I was told to sit down with the head of the youth and the "house Mom" who was in their eyes experienced because she was a teacher for 23 years. She told me that I should not of been transparent with them because I don't know them. Well how do you think I was transparent? I told them the same story I told all of you...I did something at the age of 19 and I wanted all of them to know that they could reach out to the Father and ask for forgiveness, but if we don't forgive ourselves we can't grow into the young women Jesus wants us to be.

Well what do you think our little 9th grader did..she told the staff she wasn't ready to talk and I was making her!! I asked all of the girls if I was making them talk and they said no and told her that I wasn't doing that but because the "house teacher" said we have to "walk on egg shells around her" I should of known that if I knew how to take care of young women!! How hurtful could one woman be!! She probably didn't know how she and the young girl hurt me but they did and it hung over my heart for a couple of days. Because of her hurtful words a couple of boys called me the "demon leader". They got in trouble with the men. In a nutshell I was asked for forgiveness from the leaders except for the 9th grader and the teacher.

What hurt the most was my girls were hearing all of this drama and had to be talked to by the leader of the youth, Jordan. He also talked to me and said, "---------- has too much drama in her life, it perceives her where she goes and she has a problem, if we had moved her it would of gotten worse. I know how you raise children, just look at the glory of God in your girls. When my children are older I would come to you for advice. You did nothing wrong. We just need to pray for ----------"

So Ladies I was placed with another leader and her senior girls. They went to the other girls and said, "Miss Donna is so cool why did you allow this gossip to happen" No one said anything except, "we didn't do it --------- did, blame her". So I was accepted by everyone except her and it still hurts....

I mean I'm sitting here crying as I write because I just don't know where my ministry is going?! The Lord is using me but after this week I feel like it didn't matter. I then went to my bible and devotions and read this, the Lord always bring thing to light after the fact. "You hands shaped me and made me, Lord" Job 10:8
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mothers womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous, Lord." Psalm 139:13-14

"Everyday of my life was recorded in your book Lord. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed" Psalm 139:16

"We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works." Ephesians 2:10

Each of us are uniquely designed or shaped to do certain things. I am the way I am because I was made fo a specific ministry and I can't give up on it because the enemy is bringing me down due to this young girl. In "The purpose driven Life" Rick Warren describes SHAPE as:
Spiritual gifts

Maybe my SHAPE is not with certain girls but I do believe I have a gift with all of you and women who have gone through what I did in my past...abuse, single parenting, loneliness, and the healing I experienced through it all. I just ask all of you to pray for me to get past that week. I can honestly tell you this is probably the first time I was so hurt by one person so much younger than me. I want the "tape" to go away in my head and stop listening to those words also. The Lord is right here with me and He never made junk..I AM NOT JUNK!! It's funny I knew the Lord was trying to talk to her because the night she made a fuss the speaker said, "I am sensing that there has been a lot of reputations hurt and those that hurt people need to ask their forgiveness" She didn't but I know that she also felt guilty because she couldnt' face me and the leaders all asked her "was Miss Donna really that bad" she said "no".....I need to pray for her and ask the Lord to show her His glory to her...she needs to stop drama with people and start growing up...not letting her act like that because she always has!

I love you all


debrah said...

This young girl does not determine your ministry. Also consider the possibility that this girl was not a tool of the enemy to be used against you but rather a appointment that was set up by God. Not all divine appointments end with a kiss, kiss, hug, hug and the end of a few days.
Sometimes these appointments are between someone who need to hear the truth with love and compassion and someone who will speak the truth in love and compassion. Sometimes the person in need feels pressured and overwhelmed and will push the other person away. But don't think for a moment that the Lord did not use you to minister to this young girl. You know what to do-continue to seek Him to guide you and use you. Perhaps there were mistakes made but God is a merciful God and will train a heart that is willing. Be of good courage!

GOD'S LADIE said...

Donna, my friend! Welcome back! Love the picture of the puppy! From what you posted, you did a wonderful job! Please don't let what happened with this young lady make you think that you are not worthy or that your ministry is not valid or is in vain. The devil is a liar! I believe that the girl was touched by you, though she may not have wanted to receive it. I am sure you planted a seed there. Remember whose you are. I pray GOD's perfect peace upon your mind and healing for your broken heart. Be encouraged!
Love ya,

From the Heart said...

Good to have you back. I looked for you all week and then realized you were gone. I did pray for you. I truly believe we are living in the last days and the enemy is doing everything he can to stop Christians because he knows this is his last chance. I'm so sorry you got hurt, but you may have stirred up some things in this girl's life that she doesn't want to face. Keep praying for her and then let God do the rest.
Teenagers need to hear the truth as they are facing a lot more than we did as teenagers. You are doing a wonderful job I'm sure, I know you have been a rock for me and I am so thankful for having gotten to know you.
Be blessed,

JnL4God said...

Debrah had very good point as well as LaTonya and Alice. You were probably put there to speak into her life. And I don't know about anybody else but until I fully submitted to God I did not want to hear what someone wanted to tell me from Him. Oh I loved God but on my terms. I'm sure that went over real well with God at the time. But thank you Jesus I am forgiven and redeemed. Coming from a insecure, people pleasing,fearful back ground I KNOW what it feels like to have issues like this start second guessing what we feel God is asking us to do - But don't go there. God has been using you in a mighty way and you have been touching a lot of women with your openness your blog and your feelings. If God wants you to stop, you'll know. :)

If we can always remember to just focus on Him and do what he wants us to do no matter what it looks like, we'll always be ok.

On a lighter note:
YOUR DRAWING IS AWESOME. Donna, do you realize what a talant you have? My Mom could draw and paint. I can Paint but I can't draw, that a true talent. You better look into doing something w/ that.

Hold your head High & Be Blessed.

fivedesigns said...

Hey Beautiful Ladies-

Thank you all for your wonderful words of wisdom and encouragement. The funny thing is my week in "The purpose driven life", I mean the whole week, has been using our gifts for the Lord. What is our ministry? Do we have the desire, the passion, the talent and how can we use that for the glory of God.

I write in my journal and all I have is the same things I keep writing...I have experience all from my past, I have a passion for the arts as you all know, I have a desire to reach single moms who've been through hell and I can attain that nothing was ever their fault. As Lyn said I have this blog that was going to start out as just crafts and has turned out to be something completely else. Now how do I get all of this information to my church? How do I reach more woman through this blog and help them as I know I have given a few words here and there to Alice, LaTonya, Sweetpea (well I never hear from her anymore), Plant Lady...I mean I know when God has a word for someone I am here to deliver it..I am completely transparent and I don't want to change that about me.

I couldn't go to sleep last night because the enemy kept putting thoughts in my head about all of this. The minute I cried out to the Lord in sobbing and prayers I fell asleep. This is an ongoing battle and we've all talked about it so many times so its nothing new to me now. I know that everything each of you told me is the truth..God used me to reach that young woman, and she didn't want to hear it. My reputation was trying to be ruined and God didn't allow that to happen. I guess the thing that keeps haunting me is the comment made by one of the leaders who said, "it seems you do not have a ministry with high school girls" that ripped me to pieces and as you can tell I am still dwelling on it!!

Since I have always been in the church because my Dad was a pastor I just knew that there are leaders who think they hear from God when in fact maybe they don't? I do think the woman who was a teacher was just trying to make me feel like I needed to stay with this ministry, you wonderful people, and stay away from HS..I guess...I don't know. All I know is that the speaker told me I did a great thing by opening up and people who commented never walked in my shoes..Amen to that!!

Yes Lyn I know I can paint and draw and sew and quilt and create..oh and sing very well..but my church is so big and I just need all of you to pray so that I can find the person who can hook me up. There is a meeting next week about becoming a counselor...can you guys comment on that for me? Should I attend? That could be a stepping stone for sure...I hope you all can stop by again and leave all of your encouraging words..I need you all!

Love Donna

JnL4God said...

Yes go for it if it isn't where God wants you to be He will let you know. I'm keeping you in prayer.

debrah said...

Good Morning Donna:

I would agree with Lynn - Go for it! You know to keep everything before the Lord so as lynn said..if it is not where the Lord wants you --He'll let you know. Remember the parable of the talents...the only one who was not rewarded was the one who buried the talent...All our gifts and talents on from the Lord so let Him use you as He will...
I don't see where the down side would be to attending a meeting. I will keep you in prayer.
Be Blessed

From the Heart said...

I agree with the others. You should attend the meeting. God will let you know what you are supposed to do. Somtimes I think we ask God for something but we don't wait for His answer. There's a verse that comes to mind, "Be still and know that I am God". I'm not sure where that is but will try to find it.
God be with you,

From the Heart said...

I found the verse in my Open Bible. It's Psalm 46:10. I don't know why that particular verse came to mind but there must be a reason.
God be with you,

Tommie said...

Please don't let this have an effect on your ministry. I agree with debrah, but something that God wanted you to go through. I belive He was seeing how you would react.
I also agree with Alice that we are in the last days. It's up to Christian's to get the word of God to the ones that don't know Jesus. This includes my husband. Please pray for him. This is where satan trys to get to me, Not through my husband, He's a great husband. Satan is a liar and I know that, but at times he trys to make me think I can't lead anyone to Jesus if I can't lead my own husband.
I will post more on this on my blog in the next day or so. anyone of you please stop by for a visit or drop me a line.
I love the picture of the puppy. It's very good

Plant Lady said...

Hello Donna,
Glad you are back!

In reading all the comments from the others, I agree that this one incident should not discourage you from doing what God is calling you to do. If you are not where He wants you, He will let you know.

You know that Satan is a liar and will try to fill your mind with all kinds of doubts and fears about your calling. Continually seek God and His will for your life. He will direct your paths.

The drawing is superb! I so wish I had your artistic ability, but God has chosen to give that ability for you to use for His Glory. He had blessed me in other ways that He wants me to use for Him.

No matter what our talents, if we use them according to His will, we will be successful in our efforts for the Kingdom!

Plant Lady

From the Heart said...

Just stopped by to see how you are doing. Hope everything is okay. You have been in my prayers.