I am going to write a small post because I am at work and have a lot of things I want to say but can't right now...I haven't been really in tune with everything the last week or so because I really have been down. The Lord has been pulling a lot of things from my past in counseling and I can't tell you how completely bad and good I feel all at the same time. I suffered a lot of abuse and humiliation from my ex-husband and I have to deal with it..unfortunately when I have to deal with it I also have to talk about it. I know you wonderful ladies are always there for encouragement but I feel like I have also lost a lot of woman who always posted in the past. Right now I need everyone to hug me and tell me a good word or two :)
Listen I want to tell you a miracle before I go home. 10 years ago I was given a prophetic word over me, nearly exactly 10 years. We were at our church retreat and after worship the leader said, "Donna come to the front" I came to the front and he had a word. He said: The Lord is priming you for something good to come. He is taking your heart and peeling all the old layers like an onion so He can get to the core and show you His love. I also see a little girl who is lost in the woods and is crying out to her "daddy" because she is lost and can't find her way home. Donna that is you and the Lord is going to do something great in your life, you just have to trust and see it come to pass" WOW..RIGHT!!
Anyway, time after time went by, obviously 10 years. I went through the worst period in my life in 2001, I went through a period of medication addiction and am still struggeling with it now, my back also, I went through a horrible murder of my girlfriend, on and on. I felt like the Lord abandoned me and I have shared this with you before. So heres the news from that wonderful word from the Lord and the Lord does everything in His timing, right? I was at the counselor last Wednesday and we got to the part of my abortion and my ex-husbands abuse. Suddenly the Holy Spirit was in that room..I'm telling you if I could of seen Him I would of because I felt His presence. My counselor said, "Donna all the Lord wants to do is peel your heart like an onion and take all those layers off that have brought you down, He wants to get to the core and show you His love, He has never abandoned you. He wants to show you that He has found you and you're not lost"!!! Just writing this is making me cry all over again!! How great is Jesus! I started crying so hard and told him what happened 10 years ago and just now I had never felt so close to Jesus. For the first time in a long time I felt like His daughter and nothing was going to stop me from ministering and reaching out to others and finding out what He wants from me....It was so ordained that I should be where I am and go through this long trip to my past and grow from it...Praise God! I wish I had my Bible right now but the Lord just wanted me to share this with all of you and hopefully I can be of some encouragement for others like you are all to me :)
I will post again..but I better get back to work or I will be fired...I painted 3 more paintings and will post tomorrow. I love you all and please could someone tell LaToya and Lynn and PlantLady I miss them..til morrow